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    <updated>2008-07-19T21:41:20Z</updated>

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    <entry>
        <title>In memory</title>
    
    
    
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                <id>tag:vox.com,2008-07-01:asset-6a00c2251f827f8fdb00fa96833d060002</id>
        <published>2008-07-01T00:18:28Z</published>
        <updated>2008-07-19T21:41:20Z</updated>
    
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            <p>My grandpa Jerry has passed away.</p><p>I&#39;d write more, give you a proper view of this man that was so important to me, but I&#39;m numb.</p><p></p><p><br /> </p>
        
    
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    <entry>
        <title>weight loss!</title>
    
    
    
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                <id>tag:vox.com,2008-06-24:asset-6a00c2251f827f8fdb00fae8c5d518000b</id>
        <published>2008-06-24T11:32:33Z</published>
        <updated>2008-06-26T21:06:57Z</updated>
    
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            <p>Alright, so here&#39;s the update:</p><p>I joined the gym for two months.&#160; I needed a jump start on fitness, and that was the best way to go.&#160; I have several friends who work out there, so I almost always have a partner.&#160; So far I&#39;ve been 3 times- last Wednesday for the pilates class, Sunday with Nicole, and yesterday with Corrie.&#160; </p><p>I can already tell a difference.&#160; Maybe its the gym and working out, or maybe its the general after-baby weight loss, but this week I&#39;m fitting into clothes I haven&#39;t fit into in over a year.&#160; Yay!</p><p>Liam is pretty amazing- he loves playing with his hands.&#160; He claps them together and does the praying thing.&#160; He&#39;s really into blowing raspberries lately, which is pretty great when he&#39;s eating.&#160; :-)&#160; He can sit up by himself for a few seconds at a time, which he loves.&#160; Last night he fell asleep on my shoulder, and that was wonderful.</p><p>We are taking him up north this weekend!&#160; His very first vacation.&#160; We wanted to get away this weekend, and some friends of ours invited all of us to come up north to Mackinaw!&#160; So we&#39;ll take him swimming (he has the cutest little swim trunks) and play up north for a couple of days!</p><p>He&#39;s six months tomorrow.&#160; The time goes by so fast.&#160; <br /> </p>
        
    
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    <entry>
        <title>in love</title>
    
    
    
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                        <id>tag:vox.com,2008-06-12:asset-6a00c2251f827f8fdb00fa967e2bc40003</id>
        <published>2008-06-12T02:26:50Z</published>
        <updated>2008-06-12T02:26:50Z</updated>
    
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<div class="enclosure-inner" style=" margin: 5px; border: 1px solid; text-align: center;"><a href="http://still.vox.com/library/photo/6a00c2251f827f8fdb00fad6909c650004.html" class="enclosure-strip-link" title="liam and mommy"><img src="http://a5.vox.com/6a00c2251f827f8fdb00fad6909c650004-120pi" alt="liam and mommy" class="enclosure-strip-image" style="margin: 5px; border: 0;" /></a><a href="http://still.vox.com/library/photo/6a00c2251f827f8fdb00fae8c21902000b.html" class="enclosure-strip-link" title="Liam 048"><img src="http://a2.vox.com/6a00c2251f827f8fdb00fae8c21902000b-120pi" alt="Liam 048" class="enclosure-strip-image" style="margin: 5px; border: 0;" /></a><a href="http://still.vox.com/library/photo/6a00c2251f827f8fdb00fa967d870c0002.html" class="enclosure-strip-link" title="sleepingguy"><img src="http://a4.vox.com/6a00c2251f827f8fdb00fa967d870c0002-120pi" alt="sleepingguy" class="enclosure-strip-image" style="margin: 5px; border: 0;" /></a><a href="http://still.vox.com/library/photo/6a00c2251f827f8fdb00fae8c21904000b.html" class="enclosure-strip-link" title="liam and daddy"><img src="http://a4.vox.com/6a00c2251f827f8fdb00fae8c21904000b-120pi" alt="liam and daddy" class="enclosure-strip-image" style="margin: 5px; border: 0;" /></a></div>
</div> <!-- end enclosure -->
 
 <div>This is my life.<br /><br />Every so often, I try to bop on here just to chat.&#160; I want to keep track, jot things down before Liam is so big and I forget.&#160; I have a horrible memory, and there are just some things I don&#39;t want to forget.<br /><br />So I sit down at the computer and pull this page up.&#160; But before my fingers can touch the keys, Liam is doing something cute again.&#160; Something amazing.&#160; Last week, as I was preparing to type, he started yelling Mama over the monitor.&#160; (I swear, thats what I heard).&#160; Earlier this week, he smiled at me.&#160; That is enough to pull me away.<br /><br />He is growing so fast.&#160; Lately he&#39;s been fascinated by playing with wooden spoons and wind chimes.&#160; He can turn on his own mobile now.&#160; He&#39;s started anticipating things- the noise a cup makes when he throws it, the way I say Boo to startle him, the sound the piano makes when he pounds on it.&#160; The other day he was really fussy, and the only thing that would calm him was me holding him and singing the Liam Song.&#160; He holds his own bottle now when its less than half full.&#160; He holds out his arms when he wants to snuggle.&#160; He starts to laugh when I walk into the house on my lunch break.&#160; <br /><br />So in short, I&#39;m tired.&#160; Exhausted, most of the time, with my final two classes, working full time, and my little buddy.&#160; I am dragged out.&#160; But I am completely, and utterly, in love.<br /><br /><br /></div>
        
    
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    <entry>
        <title>and how</title>
    
    
    
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                <id>tag:vox.com,2008-06-11:asset-6a00c2251f827f8fdb00fad69050f40004</id>
        <published>2008-06-11T02:38:41Z</published>
        <updated>2008-06-12T02:16:17Z</updated>
    
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            <p>Quick note:&#160; Stepped on a scale today for the first time since Liam was born, and I&#39;m down 40 lbs.&#160; Only 13 more to go to pre-pregnancy weight, but I really don&#39;t want to stop there.&#160; </p><p>More to come.<br /> </p>
        
    
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    <entry>
        <title>an apt quote</title>
    
    
    
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                <id>tag:vox.com,2008-05-17:asset-6a00c2251f827f8fdb00fae8ba2219000b</id>
        <published>2008-05-17T11:14:32Z</published>
        <updated>2008-05-22T21:24:14Z</updated>
    
        <author>
            <name>still</name>
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            <p><span style="font-family: comic sans ms"><span style="color: blue">Once, on my way to a dream, I got lost and found a better one.</span></span> </p>
        
    
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    <entry>
        <title>life and everything like it</title>
    
    
    
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                <id>tag:vox.com,2008-05-09:asset-6a00c2251f827f8fdb00f48cf65b7a0003</id>
        <published>2008-05-09T11:12:10Z</published>
        <updated>2008-05-09T11:12:10Z</updated>
    
        <author>
            <name>still</name>
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            <p>Motherhood has surprised me.</p><p>I write, often, about striving for authenticity, about being real, being present.&#160; Funnily enough, I&#39;ve spent my life seeking myself only to find it in another.</p><p>---*---</p><p>I woke up this morning, 18 minutes before my alarm, to Liam talking to himself over the monitor.&#160; Not crying- just talking.&#160; His teeth have been moving around in his tiny little mouth, and it makes me feel helpless- there is so little I can do to ease his discomfort.&#160; So we walk.&#160; We bounce him in front of windows, we turn on the music, we sit on the porch.&#160; These are the things he has shown a definite preference for.</p><p>And isn&#39;t that funny?&#160; That such a young child, a baby, can already be so stubborn and so certain of what he likes and what he wants?&#160; </p><p>I read a professional article, the other day, about early childhood educators and their ability to &quot;grow brains&quot;.&#160; It is so true.&#160; I&#39;m learning this every day.&#160; Watching Liam grow, being a part of his world, is incredibly interesting to me.&#160; It stimulates my curiosity.&#160; What does he think of this?&#160; What is going on in his little head?&#160; These are questions I will never have answers to, but I question anyway.&#160; </p><p>---*---</p><p>Jim and I are the lucky ones who seem to have it all.&#160; I know this.&#160; We have a good marriage and a stunning baby boy.&#160; We both have good jobs and a wonderful mother who takes care of Liam while we work.&#160; We have friends who come around even though I&#39;m sure the territory has changed with our little guy.&#160; We have enough people that love him and want him that we still get nights to ourselves sometimes.&#160; We have a family, but we haven&#39;t lost ourselves or each other.&#160; And that is a huge reason to be thankful.</p><p>I wonder sometimes, where does this luck come from?&#160; I know some of this was choice- I can follow the paths backwards through the years, seeing every choice made or opportunity passed up, each step that has led us here.&#160; Even the blind leaps of faith that we&#39;ve taken, certain that there was something better on the horizon.&#160; But behind each and every choice we made, there was luck.&#160; Sometimes people make choices and the grass isn&#39;t greener.&#160; Sometimes there&#39;s regret, and disappointment.&#160; How did we avoid this?&#160; Where does this luck come from?</p><p>Once again, these are questions I&#39;ll never have answers to.&#160; But I question anyway.</p><p><br /> </p>
        
    
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    <entry>
        <title>real</title>
    
    
    
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                <id>tag:vox.com,2008-05-05:asset-6a00c2251f827f8fdb00f48cf511a10003</id>
        <published>2008-05-05T11:03:54Z</published>
        <updated>2008-05-09T12:55:35Z</updated>
    
        <author>
            <name>still</name>
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            <h2>
<span style="font-size: 0.8em;">&quot;Real isn&#39;t how you are made,&quot; said the Skin Horse. &quot;It&#39;s a thing
that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not
just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.&quot; &quot;Does
it hurt?&quot; asked the Rabbit. &quot;Sometimes,&quot; said the Skin Horse, for he
was always truthful. &quot;When you are Real you don&#39;t mind being hurt.&quot;
&quot;Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,&quot; he asked, &quot;or bit by
bit?&quot; &quot;It doesn&#39;t happen all at once,&quot; said the Skin Horse. &quot;You
become. It takes a long time. That&#39;s why it doesn&#39;t happen often to
people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be
carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair
has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your
joints and very shabby. But these things don&#39;t matter at all, because
once you are Real you can&#39;t be ugly, except to people who don&#39;t
understand.&quot;</span><br /></h2><p>
-- by Margery Williams, from <em>The Velveteen Rabbit</em> -- </p>
        
    
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    <entry>
        <title>piano</title>
    
    
    
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                <id>tag:vox.com,2008-04-19:asset-6a00c2251f827f8fdb00f48ceff8bb0002</id>
        <published>2008-04-19T15:20:39Z</published>
        <updated>2008-05-15T21:20:55Z</updated>
    
        <author>
            <name>still</name>
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            <p>I&#39;m finally going to learn to play the piano.</p><p>I&#39;ve always been into music.&#160; Over my lifetime, I&#39;ve played several instruments- flute, soprano sax, tuba, accordion, bass guitar.&#160; But when I was young, I fell in love with the piano.&#160; I was told my hands were too small to play.&#160; </p><p>Well, I don&#39;t buy that anymore.</p><p>Dadra is loaning me her keyboard for a while.</p><p>I want to learn to play:<br />Vienna Teng- gravity<br />Jimmy Eat World- the world you love<br />Rufus Wainwright- Hallelujah<br />A Fine Frenzy- Almost Lover</p> 
        
    
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    <entry>
        <title>Change a Life</title>
    
    
    
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                        <id>tag:vox.com,2008-04-19:asset-6a00c2251f827f8fdb00e398f19c520005</id>
        <published>2008-04-19T15:11:21Z</published>
        <updated>2008-04-19T15:11:21Z</updated>
    
        <author>
            <name>still</name>
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                <div class="enclosure-asset-name"><a href="http://still.vox.com/library/link/6a00c2251f827f8fdb00e398f19c510005.html" title="Change a Life">Change a Life</a></div>
                <div class="enclosure-asset-subtitle link-subtitle"><a href="http://motivate.vox.com/library/post/change-a-life.html" target="new">http://motivate.vox.com/library/post/...</a></div>
            
                <div class="enclosure-asset-description">Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable ways it can change someone else's life forever. ~Margaret Cho</div>
        
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    <entry>
        <title>normal</title>
    
    
    
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                <id>tag:vox.com,2008-04-14:asset-6a00c2251f827f8fdb00e398eff6ed0005</id>
        <published>2008-04-14T10:39:47Z</published>
        <updated>2008-04-14T10:39:47Z</updated>
    
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            <p>Things are good.</p><p>I had a very relaxing weekend.&#160; Friends came by and we watched movies all day.&#160; Jim and I thought about going out and getting some shopping done, but little guy is teething (I think) and we didn&#39;t want to take him out.&#160; He&#39;s been a little crank, the poor kid.&#160; You can see a tooth right under the gum but you can&#39;t feel it yet.&#160; </p><p>He&#39;s pretty adorable- he&#39;s taken to chewing on his bib for fun and comfort.&#160; He&#39;s never really liked the pacifier.&#160; </p><p>He&#39;s learning how to roll over with clothes on now.&#160; </p><p>He&#39;s growing up so fast!<br /> </p>
        
    
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